adventures of a kid

philip-thenickel:

When you say the phrase “the next ten minutes” in an actual conversation.

And you’re like. 

Will you share your life with me?

For the next ten minutes?

For the next ten minutes?

We could handle that.

nerdgasm91:

I wanna be, somebody’d buddy. Somebody who can be my buddy back!

I wanna be somebody’s buddy, anybody but a dumb shit but-ler!

shavingryansprivates:

if i was famous i’d just tour around the country without telling anyone and go to random college campuses late at night, and i’d wait until i saw one person walking by themselves and i’d walk behind them and put my hands over their eyes and say guess who and when they turned around it’d be me and they’d be like omg and then i’d say “no one will ever believe you” and i’d just sprint off into the moonlight

oh god

brentsupertramp:

1. don’t rape anyone

(Source: fgallaghers)